I've realized (no acknowledged) a few truths about me in the last two weeks.
1) I have trouble with commitment. (to my art) This project (a long with the hundreds of others I have started through out the years.. remember the stain glass phase? the textile phase? oh the short spurt of oil painting? oh! falling in love with the oh so expensive intaglio printing.. oh! and the seemingly more expensive metal-smithing? wood block printing??) was doomed to failure from the get-go. And I knew it deep down. As always I can't commit to one form of art making. Period. It's always been an issue. Case in point, I didn't get my BFA (Just a BA) simply because I couldn't choose ONE area to focus on.. and just insisted on taking a little bit of everything. Which I don't regret! Especially since now that I am teaching it's nice to be familiar with many different areas. Part of the problem.. anything I was strongly interested in, and exhibited a knack for was just way more expensive than I was comfortable pursuing...
2) I have a short attention span. the post cards are too limiting. I got annoyed very quickly. While at first I was excited by the challenge. So on the many days of feeling exhausted, sick, depressed or just plain apathetic the 'excitement' of creating on a format I had issues with just wasn't happening.. (oh, and a dinosaur, zombies and a few ninja got in the way)
3) I have a lot of low days. And at first I thought by putting it all out on cards it would help me reflect on my high days vs low days but really it just bummed me out to notice just how many low days I have. So I guess it served part of its purpose.
4) I love being inspired. I went to a workshop, was introduced to scratchbord. I LOVE it. It allows me the freedom of moving quickly and impulsively as I do with a pencil. The noise is oddly satisfying (whats wrong with me?) and the effect looks like woodblock printing, which is what drew me to the woodblock to begin with. We'll see, this may actually be IT?! I may have found my medium! (we'll see, maybe I'll get carpal tunnel syndrome in my hand soon after from all my excess scratching...)
5) I have some goals I feel like I must make a serious dent in as 30 is feeling ever closer, and I do want to start a family sometime.
A) Make a serious start and effort into children's book illustrations. (with the understanding that this will be a life process)
B) Start my Masters Degree.
C) Obtain advice and guidance into National Board Certification (probably early to middle childhood art education)
6) I love the highs in my days too. And currently am looking forward to finding the paper ninja that a student apparently hid in my room today.

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